Say Something…..

by Carole Vogt, PsyD

Couples Who have Lost Their Way

I have met with so many couples over the years who so desperately want to reach each other and have lost their way. I see it in their eyes and hear it in their voices. When couples find themselves in this lonely tragic place of disconnection it can feel futile, like there is no hope for them to regain a sense of love and trust.

How does this happen to two people who started out in a loving relationship where trust and connection were abundant? As a couples therapist it pains me to see a couple walk into my office and know that they have lost their way from each other and now feel despair and hopelessness. Sometimes they have even stopped talking to each other almost completely. It feels as if they are not able to speak the same language.

Marriage Therapy can Help

Marriage therapy can help each person in the couple to begin to open up and get in touch with their pain and despair at having lost the connection to their partner. When the need for your partner to “say something”, anything, is so great you are willing to do just about anything to get a reaction from that person that you used to feel so much love and connection with.

Emotional Safety in Marriage Counseling

Being able to risk in therapy requires trusting that you are being emotionally “held” by your therapist who creates a safe environment so you can start to “say something” to your partner whom you desparately want to reach. When couples begin to realize they can be heard in this safe environment they can start to slowly open up with the fears and longings that they have been holding inside.

The song “Say something, I’m giving up on you” as shown here, is a powerful example of how we desparately need to feel that connection and how small and helpless we feel when we have lost our way with each other. Through Emotionally Focused Therapy reconnection is possible even when a couple feels all hope is lost. Contact us today if you need help reconnecting with those whom you love.

About Carole Vogt

As a counselor-emeritus at Colorado Counseling Center, Carole brought a great depth of professional experience to her counseling with couples and individuals.

One thought on “Say Something…..

  1. To overcome the problems in the marriage we have to compromise each other. In these days, the common trend in the divorce is due to the lack of communication. So each marriage counselling is a chance to communicate each other, and share each other.

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