Category Archives: Forgiveness

How to Achieve Genuine Forgiveness

How to Achieve Genuine Forgiveness (Forgiveness Series Video 5)

When Is Genuine Forgiveness Possible?

We all desire the best options for our relationships—which leads us ask, “When is genuine forgiveness possible?”

As discussed in my previous videos, cheap forgiveness doesn’t work, perpetually refusing to forgive keeps us imprisoned, and acceptance may be the best option when it isn’t safe to continue the relationship.

But what if we want to restore love and trust in our relationship? To answer this question, watch the video above or keep reading!

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About Paul Sigafus

I'm Paul - the Director of Colorado Counseling Center and a Certified EFT Couples Therapist & Supervisor. My passion is helping people learn how to love each other and themselves, because I know from personal experience that the best way to grow stronger is to grow together. My enthusiasm for being a marriage counselor notwithstanding, I find my greatest joy and passion in life in loving my wife and children, and in creating with them a life full of warmth, love, joy, gratitude, and togetherness.

Forgiveness When the Other Person Isn’t Sorry

How to Approach Forgiveness When They’re Not Sorry (Forgiveness Series Video 4)

Our counseling and therapy clients can struggle with how to approach forgiveness when the other person isn’t sorry. What do you do if the other person feels no remorse? What if having contact with them puts you at risk of further harm? How about when the other person isn’t available? These situations present considerable challenges to those wishing to move forward in life.

Drawing from the work of forgiveness expert Janis Abrahms-Spring, I previously shared about other approaches to forgiveness that end up causing more harm. If you haven’t seen them yet, you can check them out here!

In this fourth video of our forgiveness series, I share about acceptance. As taught by Abrahms-Spring, acceptance is a healthy approach to forgiveness when the other person isn’t willing or available to help you heal. When it’s not safe to continue a relationship, moving toward acceptance can also be a life-affirming approach that keeps you safe. Acceptance can restore you to a sense of freedom, wholeness, empowerment, and possibility.

To learn more about this vital topic, watch our 8-minute video above, or keep reading!

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About Paul Sigafus

I'm Paul - the Director of Colorado Counseling Center and a Certified EFT Couples Therapist & Supervisor. My passion is helping people learn how to love each other and themselves, because I know from personal experience that the best way to grow stronger is to grow together. My enthusiasm for being a marriage counselor notwithstanding, I find my greatest joy and passion in life in loving my wife and children, and in creating with them a life full of warmth, love, joy, gratitude, and togetherness.

When We Refuse to Forgive

When We Refuse to Forgive (Forgiveness Series Video 3)

What Is Refusing to Forgive?

When we refuse to forgive, we hold on to our hurt, our anger, and our bitterness. We stew in our feelings of hostility and resentment. But this comes at a great cost. In her book How Can I Forgive You? Janis Abrahms-Spring identifies refusing to forgive as a second approach to forgiveness.

To learn more about refusing to forgive, watch the video above or keep reading!

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About Paul Sigafus

I'm Paul - the Director of Colorado Counseling Center and a Certified EFT Couples Therapist & Supervisor. My passion is helping people learn how to love each other and themselves, because I know from personal experience that the best way to grow stronger is to grow together. My enthusiasm for being a marriage counselor notwithstanding, I find my greatest joy and passion in life in loving my wife and children, and in creating with them a life full of warmth, love, joy, gratitude, and togetherness.

Why Cheap Forgiveness Doesn’t Work

Why Cheap Forgiveness Doesn’t Work (Forgiveness Series Video 2)

In this second video of our forgiveness series, we define “cheap forgiveness,” identify where it comes from, explain why cheap forgiveness doesn’t work, and describe how it can actually end up hurting you and your relationship. Watch the video above or keep reading to learn more! (If you missed it, here’s our first video introducing our series on how to forgive.)

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About Paul Sigafus

I'm Paul - the Director of Colorado Counseling Center and a Certified EFT Couples Therapist & Supervisor. My passion is helping people learn how to love each other and themselves, because I know from personal experience that the best way to grow stronger is to grow together. My enthusiasm for being a marriage counselor notwithstanding, I find my greatest joy and passion in life in loving my wife and children, and in creating with them a life full of warmth, love, joy, gratitude, and togetherness.

How to Forgive

How To Forgive (Forgiveness Series Video 1)

How to Forgive: Introducing Our Forgiveness Video Series

After painful experiences, we often wonder, “How do I move on? How do I heal from all that has happened?” In my experience as a couples therapist, people sometimes tell me, “I don’t know how to forgive.”

How Can I Forgive You? by Janis Abrahms-Spring

In this 5-part video series on how to forgive, I summarize some excellent counsel from Janis Abrahms-Spring’s book How Can I Forgive You? Also, I share some of my own observations from nearly 20 years as a Marriage & Family Therapist. In the coming four videos and blog post summaries, I’ll first share some ideas about what doesn’t work. I will then share some observations about how to navigate forgiveness and relational healing in a healthy way. We need ways to approach forgiveness that allow for safety, dignity, self-respect, and authentic growth. To learn more, watch our 2-minute video above or keep reading!

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About Paul Sigafus

I'm Paul - the Director of Colorado Counseling Center and a Certified EFT Couples Therapist & Supervisor. My passion is helping people learn how to love each other and themselves, because I know from personal experience that the best way to grow stronger is to grow together. My enthusiasm for being a marriage counselor notwithstanding, I find my greatest joy and passion in life in loving my wife and children, and in creating with them a life full of warmth, love, joy, gratitude, and togetherness.